So you went to EYE this summer . . .

So what?!?

What did you do there? 

I built a house. Well it wasn’t just me. We built a house. Well I didn’t get to actually work on the house. But we built a house at EYE! It was so cool! And the Bishop of Minnesota climbed up on the roof with a bagpiper so we could all bless it, together, and we gave thanks for the hands that built it, and we prayed for those who will finish it once it gets moved from the college parking lot, and we celebrated those who get to live in it. We did that and so much more at EYE in Minnesota!

The greatest challenge is taking EYE home; to our congregations, communities, and the world. In St. Paul, Minnesota, last June there was a very clear emphasis on empowerment. Participants heard stories of faithful people who were able to prayerfully discern their own gifts, claim their personal passions, and put their faith in action to serve a need in the world; local or global. We learned about and engaged mission during EYE in St. Paul, and all across the church during the 3 Days of Mission that followed the event.

We are working on resources to be shared from the event, but the most valuable resources are out there in your congregations and dioceses. Most of them are 16, 17, or 18 years old. They claimed their Episcopal identity this summer. They learned that they have so much more to learn. And they know that they are ministers of the church, now, called by Baptism, and claimed by Christ; prophetic voices and partners in ministry with energy and passion to serve NOW. 

Are you helping these enthusiastic youth discern their vocation as Christians? Were you personally transformed at EYE, this one or a previous one? 

Please send me your reports and stories and sermons so that I can share them with the church across the world. Use this link to my email bskov@episcopalchurch.org  to tell your story. I'll start posting the findings, learnings, missions, and yearnings here for all of us to share.

Stay tuned to see what the Spirit is doing in the world with TEENAGERS!!!!!

Thanks be to God!

ALLELUIA, ALLELUIA!

How I love those words when we get to proclaim them again at Easter.

Having been a pilgrim in the Holy Lands last summer with the Province IV Youth Ministry and Kanuga group, this faithful walk, beginning with Advent and Christmas, has been a new and different journey for me. As warned, I must agree that hearing scripture is forever changed for me, having been to or near the places where the story happened in the first place.

I know what Bethlehem looks and feels and smells like.

I've been to Nazareth and the Sea of Galilee.

I've walked and prayed the Via Dolorosa in a bustling Jerusalem.

I've said my prayers in the church of the Holy Sepulchre.

This year my journey through Holy Week had a different power for me. I was slightly distracted by family drama, concerns for health and safety of aging parents, grieving with friends whose parents died. Yet I found myself full of eager, confident, even giddy anticipation of the joy of Easter.

We didn't have a vigil at my congregation this year, but I found strains of "Jesus Christ is risen today . . . " playing through my head on Holy Saturday night. It caused me to laugh out loud. I then had to explain myself to my husband and sons who wondered what I found so amusing. When I told them, grinning and giggling, they shook their heads at me and called me a "Church Geek."

That's me; Church Geek, Sacristy Rat, Jesus Freak, Believer, Evangelist.

CHRISTIAN!

Loud and proud Episcopalian.

Happy Easter!

Youth Worker Summit - Gratitude

Ahhhhh . . . .

That's me, releasing a deep sigh of gratitude in the wake of the Youth Worker Summit that took place last week. The Ecumenical Youth Ministries Staff Team of the National Council of Christian Churches sponsored our second summit that strives to create "sacred space for youth workers." This year's theme was "Gathering in Hope, Rekindling the Light." We welcomed one of The Episcopal Church's own celebrities, Phyllis Tickle, as one of our keynote speakers, as well as Presbyterian Rodger Nishioka. Between the two of them, those of us gathered were treated to affirmation, gratitude, tools, discernment, enlightenment, encouragement and fellowship with colleagues, friends, and family. We networked and played, studied and prayed in the midst of the "Magical Kingdom," otherwise known as Walt Disney World. The time was truly a gift in so many ways.

The greatest gift for me was sharing this ecumenical time with 28 other Episcopalians engaged in youth ministry. Our denomination was represented by congregational and diocesan youth missioners, paid and volunteer youth ministers, rural and urban people, big budget and no budget youth programs. Our Episcopalians were from California, Dominican Republic, New York, Oregon, and everywhere in between.

The two nuggets of wisdom that I found the most helpful, hopeful, and affirming came from Rodger during his keynotes and homily. His words around hope and hopefulness, our need to not only be hopeful about the future, but to also be living in hope in the moment, provoked some good discernment about my own conduct and approach to ministry. I tweeted some of his remarks at www.twitter.com/episcoyouth if you want to catch them. My paraphrase of a another affirmation that Rodger provided is below. It helps me remember the healthy balance that was offered to me when I was hired as a youth minister in1992. I pray that it is a helpful reflection for you.

Your first priority is tending your relationship with Jesus.

Your second priority is tending your family relationships, whatever family may be for you.

Your third priority is tending the ministry to which you have been called.

Episcopalians at the Youth Worker Summit December 2010

Photos above are the ELCA Global Missions Quilt in its entirety and smaller close-ups. It was used as our backdrop for worship and plenary sessions.

Making a Difference in the Life of a Child

I returned to my home/office in Minnesota from a pilgrimage to the Holy Lands approximately 48 hours ago. I think I've recovered from sleepless travel, and the temps in Minnesota are rivaling those we weathered in Jerusalem, but I'm still feeling disoriented regarding my surroundings; the people, the food, my freedom of movement . . . .

The blog that was published by fellow pilgrim, Jessica Bodford, is excellent. If you're curious please click here to read of our faithful and enlightening journey.

In catching up on numerous emails and reading updates I found a not-so-little story from two newspapers in Montana and Wyoming about a camp for homeless children. This is yet another example of one of the many ways the Episcopal Church continues to make a difference in the lives of children. Click here to follow the link I discovered with the help of our Public Affairs Officer, Neva Rae Fox. My hat is off to Wyoming Wilderness Camp and Camp Director and collegue Pat Walsh, and my heart is full of gratitude for their faithful and creative ministry.

Please share your stories of how your ministry makes the difference in the life of a child!

Camping Season

Several years ago an acquaintance asked me if I ever took my kids on a "real" vacation, or if we only took them camping. I screwed up my face and asked what she meant.

"You know, like going to Wisconsin Dells and staying in a hotel instead of living in a tent in State Parks and things," she sneered.

I was blown away. I spent my childhood exploring the west in a car with my father, mother, and sister, living in a tent and visiting places like the Badlands and Black Hills of South Dakota, Yellowstone National Park, and the Grand Canyon, not to mention the dozens of places in northern New Mexico and Arizona that commanded our attention and wonder. I felt richly blessed, so much so that my husband and children have spent all of their childhood engaged in the summer vacation ritual of camping. It's my favorite mode of family vacation!

I realize it's not for everyone. But our family does the other kind of camping, too. My sons spent years attending Cass Lake Episcopal Camp in Northern Minnesota where I also volunteered as camp staff during my parish youth ministry days. They are applying to be counselors for our Episcopal Youth Music Camp this summer. Episcopalians have a long and proud tradition of summer camping for young people.

Some would argue that if well planned and directed, a week at summer church camp can be more enlightening and transformational in the life of a young person than an entire school year of Sunday School participation. Unfortunately many of our camps have gone so deeply into the red financially that we have literally lost them, or have caved in to economic pressures and lost our mission in Christian Camping.

The good news is that many of our camps are alive and well! Episcopal Camps and camping programs are engaged in significant inreach as well as outreach; creating safe space for children and youth to experience God's amazing creation, abundance, and unconditional love through singing, hiking, working, swimming, praying and more.

One group on the east coast is engaged in some pretty demanding programming for children whose lives are not so blessed with abundance. You can click the link here to learn more about a program for children with incarcerated parents. I pray for this group with gratitude and hope.

The Episcopal Camps and Conference Centers is a great resource for those engaged in camping ministry. ECCC is an Association of 106 Camps, Retreats and Conference Centers in 86 Episcopal Dioceses in 47 States, Puerto Rico and Dominican Republic. They have a FaceBook Fan Page where you can follow Bill Slocumb, ECCC Associate Director, on his summer journey to visit numerous Episcopal camps. He and Executive Director Peter Bergstrom are excellent resources for and supporters of our efforts in camping ministry.

So what's your favorite moment at church camp? Offer your comments here so we can share the transformations we've witnessed along the Lifelong Journey in Faith Formation.

Parenting

I've had some interesting inquiries lately about parenting youth that I thought might be helpful to share, especially as most families shift into summer mode when there is a lot more freedom of time for the teens in the household.
Recently I was asked by a colleague, "What is the one thing you would want to say to parents of teens?" My short and simple reply was, "Don't stop parenting yet!" I did follow up with some other thoughts. I hope the following is helpful and welcome your thoughts and feedback.

It is demonstrated in our culture through mass media and our fascination with celebrities that Americans value freedom, personal wealth, independence, youthfulness, promiscuity and violence. We also espouse a high regard for privacy. In my opinion we often give our teenagers too much freedom and privacy too fast. It's more than they can handle and then we blame the young person for unwise choices that lead to trouble.

Transitioning from young teen to older teen to young adult in a culture that lets 16-year-olds drive, 18-year-olds vote and smoke, and 21-year-olds drink seems like a gradual transition. Although it's very interesting to consider that particular progression of secular privileges, rites of passage, in that particular chronology; it says a lot about our cultural value system.

Older teens want nothing more than the perceived freedom of adulthood and often run to the limit as soon as privileges are granted, not comprehending the responsibility that goes hand in hand with the newly acquired privilege. I will never forget my oldest's proclamation on his eighteenth birthday. "I no longer have curfew and I'm blocking you on FaceBook!" * * click * *

"I have other FaceBook friends," I replied, "and you may not have curfew, but if you intend to live in this house you will be home by 11 on weeknights and midnight on the weekends unless special arrangements have been made." We truly had no problems with this child through his graduation and the following summer. He honored the golden rule of the household: Mom needs to know where you are and who you're with at all times. Did he and his brother sneak one by me now and then? I'm sure they did. But I also held up my end of the bargain with random checks. We live in a small enough community that their chances of bumping into members of our extended family and Episcopal congregation members are petty high. They were not subjected to an adult-free vacuum, even during summer vacation.

Our teens and tweens need parents, godparents, mentors, and adult friends to help shepherd them through these growing stages as partners. That includes knowing how to text them, greeting them in helpful and non-shaming ways on FaceBook, as well as face to face interactions. Our communities of faith are ideally suited to provide this community safety-net, holding the tension with parents as our children gradually mature into adulthood. But we need to be intentional in accomplishing this task. We need to support parents in learning to text and FaceBook and lift this up not as an intrusion on the privacy of our children, but as an essential piece of participation in the fabric of the community that uses technology as a significant means of communication in this day and age. Word of mouth is FaceBook and texting with cell phones.

Teenagers did not invent cell phones, texting, FaceBook, or iPhones. We did. And we marketed them and purchased these technologies and gave them to our kids. It is our responsibility to join the virtual community we have created so that we can continue to be parents and friends to the young people in our lives who still need us. I am not yet an accomplished expert in this field of parenting; mine are 18 and 21 and still in the house and in college. But as a youth minister I have had the privilege of watching parenting at its best and worst and everywhere in between. What is evident is the importance of a supportive and faithful community surrounding parents and teens, especially in those tender and oh-so-fast moments of vulnerable transition as youth gain new freedoms before their skills to handle those privileges are complete.

I conclude with one of my favorite prayers from Guide My Feet by Marian Wright Edelman.

Lord help me not do for my children

what they can do for themselves.

Help me not to give them

what they can earn for themselves.

Help me not to tell them

what they can look up and find out for themselves.

Help me to help my children stand on

their own two feet and to grow into

responsible, disciplined adults.

Amen.